Suicide Medicine

Release date: September 16, 2003
Record label: Second Nature Recordings
Formats: CD/LP/MP3

Buy it:
Official Rocky Votolato Store | Amazon | iTunes

Track List:
1. The Light and Sound
2. Suicide Medicine
3. I’ll Catch You
4. Automatic Rifle
5. Every Red Cent
6. Montana
7. Alabaster
8. The City Is Calling
9. Secrets of a Salesman
10. Prison Is Private Property
11. Death – Right
12. Mix Tapes / Cellmates

Lyrics:

THE LIGHT AND SOUND

Are you gonna die with that music inside / did you catch the twilight on your way into work / you can live anything you can think / man I’m not lying to you and yeah that’s a threat / I don’t want to have to bury you like this / something’s gotta get your attention / if I have to crack open your skull with my fist / I’ll let the light and the sound escape

listen now / you can hear the sound / surrender and let the light come out / don’t be afraid/ let me hear your voice / what you will live is what you make

I know you’ve worked hard your whole life / and now your tired the money is never enough / it’s never gonna be enough man that’s not even the point / the only thing you can’t afford is to keep buying the lines your fed / I know it’s comfortable to go back to sleep / take a look at what you’ve been lying in / before you wake up in search of your paycheck death / the demons of regret are making your deathbed

listen now / you can hear the sound / surrender and let the light come out / don’t be afraid / let me hear your voice / what you will live is what you make / don’t be afraid / let me hear your voice / let the light come out / cause I’m ready now / like I never was before / to see what this is all about

SUICIDE MEDICINE

a brain that never stops ticking / sometimes an on-off switch would sure come in handy / a mind that’s constantly cutting up and dissecting / looking for answers committing murders along the way

is it the red wire or the blue wire / just pick one and cut / it just doesn’t matter anymore / or did it ever / cause I could never control when the bomb would explode / oh god I love you / I mean forever / I left my body behind to break the news / looks like it’s over / please remember all of the things I never got a chance to say / like you look smashing in your fourth grade picture the one that we hung by the door / in our house that was so beautiful / there in our little home

if this medication upsets your stomach / take it with crackers bread or a small meal / we understand it won’t do shit towards the cure / but if you buy this I promise you’re gonna like the way it makes you feel

is it the red wire or the blue wire / just pick one and cut / it just doesn’t matter anymore / or did it ever / cause I could never control when the bomb would explode / oh god I love you / I mean forever / I left my body behind to break the news / looks like it’s over / please remember all of the things I never got a chance to say / like you look smashing in your fourth grade picture the one that we hung by the door / in our house that was so beautiful / there in our little home

I’LL CATCH YOU

the days behind you are haunting / the ones your living in now / the ghost of your past carries / the weight of your name / where would you be who are you / without the scaring and the heals that stepped on you / that you cling to with all of your strength / let go – freefall – it’s scary I know to forgive all of the devils / let go – i’ll catch you / It’s scary I know to understand what must be done

58 guthrie street / an old postcard you sent / to help close up wounds that I love to reopen / quarters in the tequila / on the streets of houston / you can keep on drinking / but never drown out where you’ve been / let go – freefall – it’s scary I know to forgive all of the devils / let go – i’ll catch you / It’s scary I know to understand what must be done

there is a statesman servant beneath / the thick skin of remembering / armor for protection / let go – freefall – it’s scary I know to forgive all of the devils / let go – i’ll catch you / It’s scary I know to understand what must be done

AUTOMATIC RIFLE

the night I turned 25 it was legos on the floor / it seemed like a safe enough game / for a man to play with his daughter / an automatic rifle and a bullet through the window / and the troops are satisfied that justice had been delivered

that was enough to set the spark of a vision in another / 18 years – 18 year old girl – to see herself a martyr / to keep up with the cycle / of an automatic rifle and a bullet through the window / and the troops were satisfied that justice had been delivered

close your eyes to the suns blinding light / a three story concrete house and a steady paycheck / cause open eyes will be / infected with politics / and even a smart girl can end up / with a bomb strapped to her chest

EVERY RED CENT

we’re moving on the bags are all packed / I’m feeling like less of a wreck / the plans for revenge have all been detailed and laid out / the graves have all been dug don’t let me forget one for myself

I’ve got hate running through my veins / and my blood runs like the venom of a poisonous snake / emptiness, my old friend / keep me company as I hunt down and kill my enemies cause there must be someone to blame

someone to blame for the way I’ve been feeling / I’ve been shot at, I’ve been cheated, how could you send me to this place / I have every right to feel the way I’ve been feeling shut up – I don’t want to hear anymore of your dirty excuses

you’ve got hate running through your veins / and your blood runs like the venom of a poisonous snake / emptiness, my old friend / will be your victory and the riches you have earned you deserve every red cent

it’s too late to turn back now / crying for a love that you know you never learned how to make / buried in what you dug / crying for a love when you know you never learned how

Hate is running through my veins / and my blood runs like the venom of a poisonous snake / emptiness, my old friend / keep me company as I hunt down and kill my enemies cause there must be

MONTANA

driving north on 35 heading into the night / the suns getting easier for me to look at / I’ve been singing these songs about you Montana / for so long without ever even knowing it / the things that you can’t see / if you look you’ll find / they’ll deliver everything / somewhere somehow I got everything backwards

from the gas tank to the engine / ambition sets the pistons on fire / and when you feel the distance in an empty bed / lord you’ll know that you’re the woman of a hard working guitar pickin’ man

you know my dream has always been / a freight train leaving town / I grew up small town but I always knew I’d get out of that somehow / I’m barely breathing on this stage / but it’s keeping me alive / there’s nowhere I’d rather be / than on my way home to you tonight

driving north on 35 heading into the night / the suns getting easier for me to look at / maybe Memphis TN, maybe New Orleans / maybe Arizona, I guess we’ll see

ALABASTER

on the outside looking in / i’ve never been able to crack the code / to break the secret spell / that would open up the door and let me in / to everything I’ve been looking for so hard I’ve never seen / but I feel my strength returning tonight / its flowing from the purest well to ever give water / It spills out into an ocean where the sharks are circling / a carnival of counterfeits has no room for something real

arrogance and ego wrapped around every word / shouted from the pulpit as a judgment to control / these were my roots my seed was thrown in shallow soil / I grew into the thorn bushes to be scorched by the sun / but I feel the gravel move beneath my feet / the smell of the gasoline mixed in with the trees / when my faith is strong I know my strength / the threats will be screamed when the vultures fell threatened

so I’ll open up the door and let you in / I want to break the alabaster smell the sweet perfume / and when the bottle is broken I’ll have nothing left to give / I’ll know I’ll already have everything worth having / but I feel my strength returning tonight / its flowing from the purest well to ever give water / it spills out into and ocean where the sharks are circling / a carnival of counterfeits want to crucify something real

THE CITY IS CALLING

the city is calling / everybody is searching for the keys / to all the prisons that the cruel and kind intention can create / the boys and girls of winter gather at the end of November / to drink the drops of joys and sorrows from each others dripping trees

all of life’s secrets are in your branches / make sure it’s the truth before you write it down kids / stair at the kiss-marks on a spiderman notebook / waxy sweetness, to explore every degree of your mental health

much better to pass into that other world / in the full glory of the passions that you found here / than to fade and wither with age / from watching the flickering light dim in the eyes of the living.

all of life’s secrets are in your branches / make sure it’s the truth before you write it down kids / stair at the kiss-marks on a spiderman notebook / to explore every degree of your mental health / save up all of your innocence and grow the ripe fruit / to explore every degree of your mental health

SECRETS OF A SALESMAN

these baby secrets have grown into children / through dirty adolescence and now into manhood / I locked the basement door and broke off the skeleton key / but it made no difference still they travel with me even though I killed them they haunt me and they help me / remember the lies in the shadows, the practiced charades / my hands are an axe chopping at the roots / of the only family tree that could ever bear fruit / to cripple you to make sure that you never reproduce / another heart of lies or house of haunted rooms

the arrow is thrown into your back nothing has ever been / so distant and weak / dreaded words whispered under her breath “your just like your father” / your ocean is a drop of water

tightly woven wire mesh beneath the broken salesman as he’s rolling down the conveyer belt / the product is almost ready to be shipped out the door / out into the world to make a living selling plastic faces to everyone who needs em / to forget the lies in the shadows, the practiced charades / the enemy will make sure the ties on straight / it’s always best to make an impression of wealth / no matter how much hatred and debt is boiling beneath the surface / “I love you” spills like vomit from her lips

the arrow is thrown into your back / nothing has ever been so distant and weak / the dreaded words whispered under her breath “you’re just like your father” / your ocean is a drop of water / I locked the basement doors and broke of the skeleton key / forget the lies in the shadows, don’t forget me

PRISON IS PRIVATE PROPERTY (A LIFE OF YOUR OWN)

the have nots have had enough and now they’re out to kill the king / of what looks to be an evil empire where short-term earnings mean everything / there’s a pressure to deliver here, your gonna get hurt if you don’t play this game / nobody will ever know, just the CEO to the CFO / if you can work some magic, we can double our paychecks, so make the #s look right / wall street is a ruthless mistress with a quick and painful judgment / temptation is in deep now, threads of greed run through this fabric / weaving tapestries over your eyes to prepare the landscapes for disaster / anthrax or a plane crash, biochemical, or even nuclear attacks / integrity is too damn expensive, discount the price but still / nobody’s buying so come up with the money boys or you’ll be chocking on a barrel / and it just might be your own finger squeezing on the trigger / call in the reinforcements

you’re working hard on a life of your own / three square meals and a place to call home / the American dream can be found here if you keep your mouth closed / but the teeth you keep clinched is what’s killing the chance / your mouth is watering as you imagine / swallowing each new possession / its building a prison

you’ll think there’s a place where you made it / you searched for this your whole life / new answers will satisfy but then you realize it’s never enough / that’s the slickest marketing I’ve ever seen – a spiraling trap / with enough ambition and a firm set of rules you can have anything you want / you can walk right out into the world and capture and kill god / in a little box or a little book to be understood / but no one can argue with the good sense and strength of a solid foundation / or with the weakness born when corruption is the rule and not the exception / I’m trying hard to forget everything I thought I knew / you’ve climbed much too high to let the truth stop you now / or to concern yourself with the investments of

lesser honest men / the ladder’s been brutal but the payoff is just around the corner / call in the reinforcements

you’re working hard on a life of your own / three square meals and a place to call home / but you keep getting lost each time you walk out your front door / me I’ve got a family I know real well what it means / to make sure there’s enough food on the table each day / but I’d rather starve than be a whore for an empty living

DEATH – RIGHT

you’ll die young if you live so carefully / there are risks you must take to pay this world / I know it would never be that easy / I have not yet earned the right to die / I want you to hear me screaming / I want you to notice what goes on / temptation and evil demons crawling the earth hiding in every corner

I’ve seen men crippled in anger / the sun burns alive in silence / I’ve seen men wallow in fear / inaction acts as a blade across the throat / I’ll learn how to make decisions / I’ll stick by my word – won’t let you down / I swear by the grave that’s calling / nothing will stop me from doing what must be done

something here is still innocent / It doesn’t matter if you decide not to believe it / There are still places where the magic can breathe / I want to breathe it in / I want to lay down and never leave

we’re stalking the ancient mariner / through waters he takes his lonely course / once powerful once beautiful / extinction lingering these things are no more / I love you I’ll never leave you / though I may be gone for years on end / I will never be separate / lovers through the lives before and after

something here is still innocent / It doesn’t matter if you decide not to believe it / There are still places where the magic can breathe / I want to breathe it in / I want to lay down and never leave

MIX TAPES / CELLMATES

I am a prisoner in the sunlight / you are my cellmate in the darkness / there’s a box full of mix tapes with titles you came up with / they can show us where we came from but not how to get back there / listening to the songs can’t heal my broken fingers it’s just weight for the anchor to keep your ship here

goldfish crackers in a zip-lock bag / in a gas station garbage can / I’m filling up this evening so I won’t have to at 6am / on my way into work but that could have been me / working behind that counter on the curb there smoking / we’re really not that different just a few steps from exploding

now I’m serving time / till I’ve earned the right / to go back to the place where we started from / now I’m serving time / till I’ve earned the right / baby I swear one day we’ll get the money straight

I am a prisoner in the sunlight / you are my cellmate in the darkness / I just hope I wake up before this streetlight changes / you know this world is eating him alive / but you just can’t find the metaphor to describe / the bottle of pills and the emptiness in the soft light

now I’m serving time / till I’ve earned the right / to go back to the place where we started from / now I’m serving time / till I’ve earned the right / baby I swear one day we’ll get the money straight

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